The Early Years

First Signs & Sleepless Nights

At home, everything seemed fine. Except Cheese only slept two to four hours at a time.

By nine months old, I was running on fumes. Exhausted and in tears, I took him to the GP. The verdict? Postnatal depression, antidepressants, and referrals to baby sleep specialists.

I don’t know why we called it postnatal depression at the time. It was simply sleep deprivation, a truly cruel form of torture. The sleep specialists tried everything. Their conclusion?

“I’ve never come across such a stubborn baby.”

Fantastic. Exactly what every exhausted parent wants to hear. Desperate for rest, we were given all sorts of contradictory advice, including the highly questionable:

"Put Cheese to sleep on a sheepskin rug, face down—you can get them cut short for babies."

So, nervously, we did… then immediately phoned a SIDS helpline freaking out.

Isn’t that the exact opposite of SIDS recommendations?

Yep. Don’t do that.

But nothing worked. Cheese still wasn’t sleeping for more than four hours. If we were lucky.

Then Came Daycare and the Biting.

At three years old, we assumed it was sibling jealousy from when newborn Chalk arrived, or maybe just part of adjusting to daycare. But this wasn’t your typical toddler biting phase.

Cheese bit everyone. No one was safe. Parents, other kids, child care workers, family members. It didn’t matter. And it didn’t stop after a few weeks. We’re talking years, not months.

Then daycare started raising more concerns.

“Cheese doesn’t follow instructions like the other kids.” 

“Cheese can be defiant.” 

“Cheese struggles with group activities.”

I was tired. We brushed it off. Daycare just didn’t know how to communicate with Cheese. Ask if Cheese wanted to sit in the green or red chair, provide choices, and suddenly there’s no problem. Maybe the issue wasn’t our kid, maybe it was the way Cheese was being handled?

And, of course, there was the age factor.

“They grow out of it,” we said. 

“Some kids just take longer to mature,” we said.

In Hindsight? Oops.

If I could go back, I’d highly recommend actually listening to early educators who see a far wider range of child behaviours than you do at home. We had little experience with kids, both of us came from small families, and our friends weren’t in full breeding mode yet. What seemed normal to us, was not the norm. It took time (a few stumbles) and the benefit of hindsight to realise some signs were there all along. We just didn’t have the experience to see them.

Finally, We Hit the Referral Stage.

The concerns piled up.

The sleep issues.

The biting.

The struggles in group settings.

Eventually, we were referred to a behavioural paediatrician.

And so it began, the start of our journey, trying to figure out what on earth was going on with our little Cheese.

PS: Our Sleep Miracle.

Fast forward to age five and introducing a weighted blanket. BOOM!

Cheese has been peacefully sleeping through the night ever since.

(If you’re considering one, definitely seek professional advice on how to use them, since breathing safety is a major factor with small children and heavy blankets!!!)