Deschool (verb) dee-skool

1. The process of detoxing from school—unlearning school-based conditioning and rediscovering natural learning outside a structured classroom environment.

2. A necessary decompression period after leaving school, where children (and parents!) adjust to a world where learning happens everywhere—not just at a desk.

3. A nervous system reset that allows kids to recover from school stress, rebuild curiosity, and engage in self-directed exploration.

Example usage: “We spent six months deschooling after pulling our kid out of school, and now they actually enjoy learning again.”

Related terms: Unschooling, school detox, child-led learning, decompression phase.

Before we could thrive in homeschooling, we had to detox from school.

School Was the Problem—A Detox is the Solution

If you’ve just pulled your kid out of school and are wondering why homeschooling feels like a battle, this is why.

I made the mistake of thinking we could just swap the classroom for the kitchen table and keep going. That went about as well as you’d expect—tantrums, resistance, me rethinking my life choices. Turns out, school had done more damage than I realised.

If your child is struggling with homeschooling, it’s probably because they need time to recover from school. Before learning can happen, you need to detox from school.

The good news? This part can actually be fun. 

What is a School Detox?

A school detox (commonly called ‘deschooling’) is the reset button your child needs. It’s the bridge between school burnout and actually enjoying learning again.

Instead of forcing lessons on a stressed-out brain, it gives kids time to decompress, explore, and remember that learning isn’t just worksheets and tests.

Think of it like leaving a stressful job. You don’t start a new project the next day—you take a breath, sleep in, rediscover what you actually enjoy. Your kid needs that too.

For Cheese, this meant 45-minute, furniture-flipping meltdowns slowly becoming… nothing. Just over three years into homeschooling, I honestly can’t tell you the last time he had a meltdown. Not even a little one.

This isn’t just about learning differently. It’s about healing.

Why You Need a School Detox

If you skip this step, homeschooling will feel like a battle. Here’s why:

✅ School is a control-based system. Homeschooling isn’t (or at least, it shouldn’t be).

✅ Your kid needs time to decompress. School is exhausting. Let them rest.

✅ You need time to adjust. Otherwise, you’ll try to turn into a teacher and they will riot.

✅ Learning happens everywhere. And it looks nothing like a worksheet.

✅ Grade levels don’t matter. Cheese is 11 and at a senior high school level in history. His maths? About two years “behind” his age. Does it matter? Nope. We work at his level, not some artificial standard.

There is no such thing as “behind” when learning isn’t a race.

Want to understand why this matters? Read Dr Naomi Fisher’s book, Changing Our Minds. It explains how kids actually learn—through play, interest, and discovery, not artificial school environments.

How to Detox from School Without Losing Your Mind

1. Let Go of School Expectations

🚫 There is no “falling behind.” Your child is not a syllabus.

🚫 Learning happens everywhere. Not just at a desk.

🚫 If they aren’t interested in academics right away, that’s fine. They will be. Eventually.

🚫 Watching YouTube documentaries about sharks at 2 am is learning.

School makes learning feel like a job—deschooling reminds kids that learning is part of life.

2. Ditch the Schedule (for now)

This is where it gets uncomfortable for Type A parents (ask me how I know).

🚫 No strict wake-up times.

🚫 No structured learning blocks.

🚫 No “But in school, we used to…”—you’re not in school anymore.

Instead, let the day flow and prioritise play and curiosity.

• Board games = Maths, literacy, logic. (Yes, even Monopoly. Just be ready for drama.)

• Cooking = Science and chemistry (also, edible).

• Gardening = Biology and patience (yours, mostly).

• Video games = Storytelling, problem-solving, strategy.

Deschooling might look like building forts, jumping on the trampoline, or spending an entire day talking about the history of toilets—but this is learning.

3. Swap Worksheets for Play

A school detox is about letting kids explore what actually excites them. It might not be what you think is important, but that’s the point.

Love dinosaurs? Watch dino documentaries, dig in the dirt, argue over which was the best (it’s not T. rex, fight me).

Into gaming? Discuss game mechanics, coding, and storytelling.

Want to build stuff? Get LEGO, cardboard, tools—let them tinker.

Instead of “teaching,” leave interesting things around (books, puzzles, random craft materials) and see what happens. Learning is magnetic when it’s self-driven.

4. Follow Their Rabbit Holes

At some point, school probably made your kid feel like learning was a chore. A school detox gives them the chance to fall in love with discovery again.

Your job isn’t to stand in front of them and teach. Your job is to set the stage for curiosity.

🔹 Notice what sparks their interest and expand on it.

🔹 Ask interesting questions but don’t force answers.

🔹 Make learning a conversation, not a lesson.

This isn’t “doing nothing.” It’s undoing the idea that learning only happens with worksheets and exams.

5. Trust When They’re Ready

You’ll know the school detox is working when: 

✅ They start asking deeper questions. 

✅ They naturally get interested in learning activities. 

✅ They want to explore new topics.

When that happens, ease into ‘structure’ (I prefer to call it the flow of the day) gently—not with textbooks, but with interest-based learning that feels fun.

Example: If they suddenly want to build a catapult, congratulations—you’ve got physics, engineering, and medieval history covered for the week.

You’re Not Failing. You’re Undoing Years of Conditioning.

A school detox looks like “doing nothing,” but it’s actually doing everything. It’s the foundation for real learning.

If your child is resisting structure, if homeschooling feels awful, if you’re both stressed—it’s probably because you skipped or rushed this step.

Slow down. Let go. Trust the process. Your child wants to learn—just not the way school forced them to.

And here’s the best part: When they’re ready, learning happens fast. It’s deep, passionate, and interest-led. They go from refusing to touch a book to inhaling knowledge like it’s the latest Minecraft update.

So don’t stress about “keeping up.” Focus on making learning feel good again. The rest falls into place.

Thanks for reading.

I’m not here with all the answers, just sharing the messy middle as we figure it out.

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