Burnout for Accidental Homeschoolers: We Didn’t Sign Up for This

Some people homeschool because they want to. They love it. They have colour-coded planners, unit study binders, and a deep appreciation for morning baskets.

Then there’s us. The accidental homeschoolers.

We’re here because school didn’t work for our kids. Because we fought for support that never came, or because trying to keep them in school broke them (and us) in ways we couldn’t keep ignoring. We didn’t spend months researching homeschool methods—we got thrown into this, exhausted, with zero prep time.

And burnout? It’s different for us. Because we never had time to prepare for this.

The Grief and Isolation of Accidental Homeschooling

Grieving the Path We Thought We Were On

Nobody tells you that choosing to homeschool—when it wasn’t really a choice—comes with grief. Maybe you’ve felt it too? The grief of realising school isn’t an option, despite trying everything. The grief of watching other families navigate school life while you’re over here figuring out how on earth you ended up as a full-time educator.

Some days, the grief sneaks up unexpectedly. The back to school photos on socials. The school events your child should have been part of. The casual “What school do your kids go to?” that turns into an awkward pause. If you’re feeling it, you’re not alone.

The Isolation is Different

Homeschooling can be lonely, but accidental homeschooling? That’s another level.

• Not quite fitting into homeschool groups where people chose this life.

• Feeling disconnected from school mum circles.

• Explaining (again) to family why this isn’t a lifestyle choice—it’s survival.

• The sting of hearing “Have you tried another school?” as if you haven’t exhausted every possible option.

  
  

If you’ve found yourself nodding along, it’s not just you. The transition from school to home can feel incredibly isolating, and even if we know we made the right call, it doesn’t always make it easier.

Burnout Hits Differently When You Never Planned to Be Here

The Invisible Signs

Burnout doesn’t always announce itself loudly. Sometimes it’s just a slow, creeping sense of exhaustion that never quite lifts. Maybe you’ve noticed:

• Feeling constantly on edge, irritated by things that never used to bother you.

• Going through the motions but struggling to feel present.

• That overwhelming, heavy feeling of too much all the time.

• Resenting the fact that you don’t get a break, and then feeling guilty for thinking that.

  
  

It’s easy to ignore the signs, to keep pushing through. But eventually, something gives. If this feels familiar, it might be time to take a step back—even if you don’t know how yet.

The Mental Load Is Crushing

There’s the teaching part of homeschooling, and then there’s everything else. And it’s a lot.

• Planning lessons (or at least, trying to).

• Juggling life, housework, meals, and the constant interruptions.

• Managing meltdowns, refusals, and kids who don’t want to do the thing you need them to do.

• Playing social coordinator so they don’t grow up feral.

• Keeping up with doctor’s appointments, therapy, assessments, and the never-ending admin.

  
  

And then there’s the guilt. The voice that says you should be doing more—even when you’re already at your limit.

Burnout isn’t just about exhaustion—it’s about carrying too much, for too long.

So… What Might Help?

Maybe It’s Time to Let Go of the School Mindset.

If homeschooling feels impossible, maybe it’s because we’re still holding onto what school should look like.

Would it be easier if you…

• Focused less on structured lessons and more on facilitating their natural curiosity?

• Took a break from rigid expectations to see how your child chooses to engage with learning?

• Shifted from teaching to helping them explore their interests?

  
  

Some kids love worksheets, structured programs, and online tutorials—if that’s their thing, lean into it. Others thrive in hands-on projects, open-ended discussions, or deep dives into a random interests. Learning doesn’t have to look one way, and sometimes stepping back and letting them lead makes life easier for everyone.

(More on unschooling and retrospective reporting later.)

Make It Easier on Yourself—Because You Don’t Have to Do It All.

Homeschooling doesn’t mean you have to be the sole provider of all knowledge. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is step back and let learning happen in a way that works for your child.

• Audiobooks instead of read-alouds? Fantastic—same literacy benefits, less vocal strain.

• Online courses and educational videos? Absolutely—learning from experts is still learning.

• Setting up a resource-rich environment and letting them explore? That’s not a shortcut—that’s self-directed learning, and it’s one of the most effective ways kids absorb information.

Some kids thrive with structure, workbooks, and scheduled lessons. Others learn best when they have the freedom to follow their interests at their own pace. Neither approach is “cheating”—it’s just finding what works.

Do You Have a ‘You’ Ritual?

You don’t need a full self-care routine, but what’s one thing you could claim for yourself?

• A hot cup of tea in the yard alone before the chaos starts.

• Five minutes of stretching before the kids wake up.

• A hot bath at the end of the day, no interruptions.

• Music and headphones while they do something semi-independent.

• A walk (or run for your life) alone while they hang with another trusted adult (or, let’s be real, their screens).

  
  

Maybe it’s just one moment a day where you say this is mine. It doesn’t fix everything, but it helps.

Find the Right Community.

Nothing makes burnout worse than isolation. But the wrong homeschool crowd can make it even worse (there's a whole other post on finding your tribe!).

You don’t need to surround yourself with people who love homeschooling and can’t understand why you’re struggling. Find your people—the ones who get the exhaustion, the grief, and the resentment. The ones who won’t say “Have you tried making it more fun?” when you’re barely holding it together.

If you’ve found them already, hold onto them. If you haven’t, keep looking.

Are You Taking Your Own Advice?

We spend so much time helping our kids regulate, guiding them through meltdowns, encouraging ten big, deep breaths to help their nervous system settle. But how often are we doing the same for ourselves?

Those slow, deep breaths aren’t just a parenting trick, they have a real physiological impact. When we breathe deeply and slowly, it signals the parasympathetic nervous system (the body’s "rest and digest" mode) to kick in, lowering heart rate, reducing cortisol (stress hormone) levels, and shifting us out of fight or flight. It’s a simple, powerful tool but one we rarely use for ourselves.

Regulation isn’t just for them, it’s for us too.

And Just Remember… This Won’t Be Forever.

Right now, homeschooling might feel like a life sentence, but it’s not. Circumstances change. Kids grow. This season won’t last forever.

But while we are here, we need to make it sustainable. Not perfect. Not Pinterest-worthy. Just sustainable.

And if all else fails? Hide in the pantry with chocolate. It won’t fix everything, but it’s a solid five-minute break.

Where Do You Turn When Burnout Hits?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to getting through this. Some days, it’s about finding the right community, other days, it’s stumbling across a podcast or blog that makes you feel seen. Maybe it’s a local group, a book that changed your perspective, or a completely unrelated hobby that gives you five minutes of breathing room.

What’s helped you? Where do you turn when things get tough?

If you’ve found something that makes this a little easier—whether it’s a resource, a mindset shift, or just a simple habit that keeps you going—feel free to share. You never know who might need to hear it.

Thanks for reading.

I’m not here with all the answers, just sharing the messy middle as we figure it out.

If this topic resonated, here are a few more stories, reflections, and hard earned lessons you might like:

Homeschool Hacks

The Motherload of Emotional Regulation

School Can't